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The last two weeks.

The weekend before last weekend.

Extremely mellow evening. I went to some girls birthday party, with a Rockstar dress code. I didn't know the girl but my friend Brendon was celebrating his birthday that day too, so he just decided to go there.

 

The only thing worth noting is how funny my friend Nick looked:

 

 

I didn't actually recognise him!

 

Oh, we did actually do some mild drinking at a pub afterwards, where I beat some person at pool quite badly. I couldn't work out whether it was male or female. It was very weird. I went home shortly after that.

The Tuesday before last Tuesday

The night started out as a mellow night. A friend and I sat at the local pub for a bit and drank some Jamesons. All of a sudden he was drunk. It was probably because he hadn't eaten anything.

 

He then started shouting intermittently "I NEED STEAK!".

 

Sometime during his steak shouting this guy walks into the pub area with two homeless people and asks the owner if the kitchen is still open because he wants to feed them. I think my friend caught on to this and we somehow ended up sitting at his table. I had a length conversation with the one homeless lady, who turned out to be a prostitute. Naturally I gave my views on prostitution and urged her to get another job.

 

Anyway, Nick continues with his "I NEED STEAK!" for a while and eventually the guy with the homeless people buys some steak from the pub, and invites us back to his place along with the homeless people. Naturally it was going to be a weird experience so we couldn't possibly have turned down his invitation.

 

So we get to this guys place, and somehow I get into a conversation with the prostitute about the situation in the Middle East.

 

After winning my argument, I make my way to the toilet, and find that I can't stop laughing at how weird the art is in there. I had to take some pictures. In the first image you can clearly see a sampling of the weirdness in there. In the second you can see me laughing in the mirror at them. I was in there for quite a while, just laughing. It all seemed so funny.

 

 

Next up was me finding this guys music room, which had an accoustic electric guitar in it. I decided that I would learn how to play guitar by swinging my hand around wildly at the strings. I think the guy got a bit unhappy because my friend came in and took the guitar away from me. It really sounded to me like good music.

Last Friday

Last Friday started out as quite an innocent drink at my local, with a friend who I haven't seen in ages and my business partner.

 

I still had a bit of flu, and was arguing with them that I didn't want to have a heavy night because of the trouble it would cause my immune system. They thought I should take a picture of myself then, because they didn't believe I would be able to take it easy on a Friday.

 

Here's me before, feeling sick and sorry for myself and being quite adamant on not having a crazy night:

 

 

Then it all went downhill. They got me quite drunk, and we moved off to another pub where I started on the draughts. At this point there was no turning back. We made our way to the next pub, and I can't really remember much of what happened there, except for inviting the strangest people to my party (Which is this Friday).

 

At about 1AM we moved on to a strip club somewhere in Cape Town, then decided to go to another because of this weird ballerina looking stripper that was freaking me out. Seriously, she was wearing ballerina tights and all and spinning around on the stage. It was ludicrous. We left after about two sips of beer.

 

After leaving the second strip club we started to make our way home.

 

The driver (no names) wasn't really concentrating because the person sitting next to him was talking I think. We were doing quite a considerable speed when the driver noticed a large traffic circle ahead of us:

 

 

The ellipse in the top left is a stadium. You can see the traffic circle in the bottom right. It spans about 80 metres (According to Google Earth). You can see the path we took marked in red on the second photo.

 

Doing quite a considerable speed, the driver decided that trying to turn the corner would result in the car rolling, and probably wouldn't be to fun. He had to slow down as much as possible and go straight into the circle.

 

I think it's worth it to mention that the driver of the car was sober.

 

We were doing about 80 kph (around 50 mph) when we hit the circle, and we slid half way across it, which is about 40 metres.

 

Everyone in the car just looked ahead in awe. Craig mentioned afterwards "I got into the fetal position." and we laughed at that the whole way home, which was about an hours drive. His nick name is now "fetal boy".

 

Sliding across 40 metres of grass is quite a rush.

 

After making it out of the danger area safely, we got out to check the damages:

 

 

Note: There is a large clump of grass attached to the bottom of the bumper. We literally plowed the circle. Sorry about the lighting in the photo, I had a horrible hangover when I took that one.

 

I'll be checking Google Earth for the next update to that location. Perhaps there'll be a line in the grass!

 

Anyway, here are some other points of interest worth mentioning:

• Craig seeing a guy next to us in a car with spiky hair, and spiky mags. Craig starts shouting something at him, and when one of us remarked that "We're not getting involved in this one Craig" he got quite excited. He then got out of the car and stood next to the guys window and shouted "Hey SPIKY BOY! YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE SPIKY BOY!". I can't imagine why he did this, or who he thought the guy was trying to fool. The guy was fairly large too, and probably would have given Craig quite a beating. Luckily he was trying to concentrate on driving at the time.
• Driving past some gay club and Craig shouting "GAYS!" rather loudly out the window. It may be worth it to mention that the car we were in had a dead battery at the time, and if we had stalled then it would have needed a push start.
• Trying to get a stripper to do a table dance on a table covered in beer. Don't know how it got there. Apparently it was one of us but I argued with her profusely when she complained. The majority of the spilt beer was in front of me though.
• Walking into a strip club and losing all my friends, then nearly walking into an area closed off by curtains. I was stopped by a waiter with a terrified look in her eyes saying "No you don't go in there!". Something made me feel like I almost died at that point. Turned out my friends were actually right behind me too.
• My friend Brendan offering a beer that was on the table to some girl. She muttered something about Rohepynol (Date rape drug) and walked off. Was quite funny. Not for Brendan though.
• Spending about R3000 on alcohol. That's quite a lot, seeing as I was mainly drinking beer, which cost's around R15 on average.
• Having to push start the car everywhere we stopped. It's quite interesting seeing the look on a bouncers face when you arrive in such a car. They really don't want to let you in their fine establishment.
• Nick had his wallet stolen by some girl he was attempting to communicate with. The company card was in there, and he had to phone and cancel it immediately. This definitely saved us from spending much more money on strippers though.

Ok I got some pictures of "Spiky Boy" from Nick just now.

Nick has just reminded me that the driver of the red car, on the left, couldn't drive at all and kept on edging closer to Spiky Boy's car, which is the black car. Spiky Boy got out and started arguing with the driver of the black car, and then Craig decided to step in. In the second photo you can see Craig, presumably after arguing with Spiky Boy.

 

 

All in all it was a good night. Brendan says it was without a doubt the best night of his life. It was the second best night I've had this year.